In-dore experiences

I don’t understand MP people, I mean what exactly are they supposed to be? First of all they speak ‘Hindi’ which is a tad bit boring, even UPites have their brand of Bhojpuri Hindi, which is awesomest language in the world if you ask me (My knowledge of which is limited to some music cassettes I have like ‘Himara hui jau’ and Shukla ji from IIMK and I’m not sure if ‘eeeschool ke tem pe’ is Bhojpuri) and then they are neither Gujju, Rajastani, Marathi nor ‘uttar bhartiya’ so to say. It’s as if few tanker loads of people from Dadar station are just released on huge flat land…The fact that they don’t have any common culture is well demonstrated by level of indifference with which they accepted Chhattisgarh being carved out of MP. Basically, it’s chunk of huge land in middle of India with lot of tribals, forests, sex temples and minerals. I think you got the point by now…

So, I went to MP, Indore to be precise, for some office work and here are the notes I made on the trip:

1. I went from lanky to Healthy to fat in 15 days flat. Staying In-dore and company sponsored food can do that to you.
2. Everything from Indore is at distance of 600 km for e.g. Mumbai (592 km), Agra (634), Jaipur (577 km), Ahmadabad (550 km), Nagpur (582 km) etc. Indore must be India’s Bembi or something.
3. IIMI guys ka in the name of campus, bada chutya kataya hai!...their campus sucks…seriously!
4. The reason why company puts you up in AC hotels has nothing to do with your comfort, but its more from the fear that you might hang yourself to ceiling fan from frustration.
5. Every fuckin teenager in Indore has a stick like figure. May be WHO talks about this when they say India in malnourished.
6. 7 PM is Indore’s 11 PM, that’s when all the chicks head home for safety. After that everywhere it’s just bunch of ‘2 peg down’ wanna be guys shouting loudly and looking clueless in general.
7. People ask me for directions here too…
8. There’s a place in Indore where at least a crore of Rose-ringed Parakeets (commonly known as parrots in India) come and sit every evening, it’s fucking crazy…but nobody in Indore seems to give a damn…
9. Education is a serious business in Indore. It’s everywhere, on radio, hoardings, television, malls. And all the advertisements feature chicks, placements and word ‘reputed’. Btw there’s college called IIMM-Indore, a very ‘reputed’ one, ever heard of it? :D
10. Most of the Indore drivers apparently come from US and Europe; they drive on right side of the road…even the road signs (if still intact) face the opposite side. On my way to office, I once saw a truck (obviously driving on the right side) banging into pole of huge overhead highway sign, bringing the whole thing down and effectively shutting the highway for couple of hours.
11. Wait…coffee machine is working again!!