To Atheists, Agnostics and other such Rational minds

Are you bored and tired of making them see reason?? Are you feeling lonely and isolated because you happen to be much more intelligent than people around you??...Guys the time has come for us to unite and form our own religion...which would exploit this dumbass society’s dumbass beliefs.

Many of you might not agree...but let me first tell you all the advantages of having such religion.

1. We can declare Hawaii as our holy place of worship and ask government to provide subsidies for our annual pilgrimage!!

2. We can air Sepultura, Slayer, Megadeth every morning on loud speakers

3. We can justify our ridiculous and loathsome habits under the name of religion...for example...”I sit on commode like this, cause my religion says so!!” or “we eat mucus because it is sacred” etc.

4. With religion we can actively participate in communal riots...Riots kick ass!! ...I mean with all those houses burning, people dying, children crying, women getting raped and things.

5. When we run out of money from partying...we can just collect funds from people, saying it is “Anna Nicole Smith Jayanti” or something....I’m sure people will happily pay for naked photos of Anna rather than those of enlightened lookin dumb Saints, Babas and gurus.

6. We can declare Lord of the rings as our holy book and then make ridiculous claims such as “Kutub Minar was actually tower of Isengard” or “India gate was West-gate of Moria in ancient times”....we can also demolish these monuments...and then win elections.

7. We can demand more holidays

8. We can form our own charities and forcible convert poor people into our religion by offering them food and medicine. Hunger can be very persuasive argument you see...

9. After we come into the power, we can “Darwinianise” history textbooks with paragraphs on how great great great grandfather of Shivaji was Homo erectus and how Ashoka’s mother came from the bloodline of great fishkings that ruled Panthalassic Ocean during Precambrian aeon.

10. We can ban Boy bands, Himesh Reshmia, Lame Books like ‘The secret’, ‘you can win’ and all the reality shows...since they hurt our religious sentiments.

11. Legalising Marijuana, Stem Cell research and gay marriages would be much more easier if it has religious patronage

12. Once we establish our own laws...we can collect taxes from certain sections of society like Hippies, Brahmins, Catholics and Eskimos

Now that you are convinced...I hereby declare myself the son of non-existent god (never heard of son of virgin??) and the first prophet of our great New Religion...11th Jan 1984 would be 0th date on calendar now on...hail lord Bhale!!....

Now, everyone carve caves depicting my life-story...you can omit the part where I go to Mysore though...